Hi, my name is Lunabelle, and I’m a size queen. It all started with the Tantus Anaconda. I was initially attracted by the handle, but what clinched the purchase was reading reviews about its larger than average (1.75″) girth. Some reviewers didn’t like it, but those who did seemed to REALLY enjoy it. I knew I had no trouble with toys of 1.5″ diameter, so I gave it a shot. And the rest, as they say, is history. I did like it, and I wondered how even thicker toys would feel. I moved on to 2″ girth toys, like the Vixskin Maverick. I found that I loved the super-full feeling of large toys, that they get me off in an supremely intense way. I wanted to experiment further, but had a hard time finding toys over two inches in girth in body-safe materials. In a fit of desperation, I googled “wide silicone dildo” and found Bad Dragon. It was like I had stepped through the looking glass into Dildo Wonderland. Exotic shapes, wild colors…and everything in a variety of sizes.
As awed as I was by Bad Dragon, it took me months to get comfortable with the idea of purchasing one of their toys. It wasn’t a lack of desire… every time I looked at those thick toys, I wanted one more and more. But there was a shaming voice in my head that told me something must be wrong with me. Every toy I had owned up to that point was modeled to some extent after a human penis. What did it mean that I was excited by these strange and sometimes animalistic shapes? Was I a freak for wanting toys bigger than the mainstream market was offering?
I know the answers now: the shapes are filling, the textures unique, and my excitement meant that I wanted to know what those pieces of silicone would feel like inside me. Fantasy toys are about new and different sensations, there’s nothing scary or sinister about them. I may be unusual in my taste for the largest of toys, but I am far from alone. Through the Bad Dragon forums, I met others who enjoy that filled-up feeling and talked about it openly. They proudly proclaimed themselves size queens and helped me to embrace the title as well.
When I eventually told a trusted friend that I was looking at Bad Dragon toys, I was strongly encouraged to go for it. Unfortunately, not everyone is lucky enough to have that kind of support. There are a lot of people who say negative things or spread misinformation about the use of larger sex toys. My goal in writing this post is to counter some of this nonsense. While there are variations, they all boil down to the myth that your vagina will be Ruined Forever. You will never again feel pleasure from having a penis in your vagina. Any penis daring to enter your cavernous mega-vag will be doomed to dissatisfaction. People will hear your stretched-out vagina flapping as you walk. Tampons will fall out. Internal organs may fall out. Civilization as we know it may collapse, all because of people putting big sex toys into their vaginas! OH, THE HUMANITY…
In case you couldn’t see the sarcasm dripping down your screen, these kinds of comments are utterly ridiculous. For one thing, there’s an assumption in these arguments that every owner of a vagina wants a penis in it. I think we can all agree that this is problematic. But let’s talk basic human anatomy for a moment… like the definition of the word “vagina”.
There’s an important word here, and that word is “muscular”. Muscles stretch, and muscles contract. Think about a gymnast doing a split. That involves some serious muscle stretching. But does the gymnast lose the ability to walk normally when she gains the flexibility to do a split? No. Muscles are elastic, they snap back. Of course, it’s possible to injure yourself by stretching too much too fast. Just as doing a split takes training, increases in toy girth should be taken gradually. As long as you take it slow, listen to your body and use plenty of lube, there’s nothing to worry about. The vagina is designed to stretch… and spring back.
Now that we’ve established the magical physical properties of vaginas, we can move onward to the more subjective topic of pleasure. Does the use of large toys mean that smaller toys/fingers/a penis are no longer satisfying? Has that filled-up feeling become the center of my sexual existence, to which nothing else can compare? No, not at all. Since I’m fond of analogies, I’ll use another one here. Even though I like pizza, I don’t want it every time I’m hungry. Just as I’d get bored eating the same kind of food every day, I don’t always want the same kind of sexual stimulation. My size queen toys are a wonderful addition to the masturbation menu, but I still have an appetite for the rest of my collection. And nothing in my collection, large or small, has decreased my desire for (or enjoyment of) sex. Sex and solo play are entirely different experiences, a toy is not a replacement for a person. Toys don’t kiss my neck, or whisper sweet dirty nothings in my ear. Toys don’t gasp with pleasure at a touch. Toys don’t have the warmth, the spark, the unpredictability of interacting with another human being.