All I see is blackness. I am aware of the smooth silk blindfold against my face, hands roughly entangled in my hair. I am naked, kneeling on the floor. A second pair of hands caresses my breasts from behind. The first man guides my mouth to his cock, telling me I’m a good girl as I eagerly take him in. The man behind me slips a hand between my legs, asking if I want more…
…and then my alarm goes off. Crap.
I smack the snooze button in frustration, then decide that this day is going nowhere until I get the orgasm this dream had promised. I try to drop back into the dream by replaying it in my head. And then it happens. I realize that the voice of the first man doesn’t belong to an anonymous dream construct, or a celebrity I’m crushing on. It belongs to someone I know, someone who doesn’t (as I know him in real life) belong in this kind of dream. My concentration falters and a conversation starts in my head…
Me: Whoa! Stop. I’m not sure what to make of this.
Brain: You’re horny. That was a really awesome dream. Shame it was interrupted, but no reason we can’t continue it as a fantasy.
Me: Yeah, I was trying but…what’s up with him being here?
Brain: Who cares? It’s fun, stop analyzing it!
Me: Can we continue with someone else in that role?
Brain: If it makes you feel better, give it a try.
Me: Good. OK, there we go…WAIT! I’m still hearing his voice.
Brain: Whoops. Yeah, it appears the soundtrack is locked in. Sorry!
Me: Come on! I really want to enjoy this.
Brain: Go on then, I’m not stopping you.
Me: YES, YOU ARE!
Brain: No, you’re stopping you. It’s a dream, a fantasy. If it’s getting you off, why does it matter who else is involved?
Me: It just…I don’t know. It’s weird.
Brain: It’s not like he’s going to know about this.
Me: Well, no…but…
Brain: Why you making this fun little dream into an existential crisis?!? This doesn’t mean you’re going to fall all over this guy next time you see him.
Me: I suppose, but you have to promise not to toss these images out when I’m trying to have a normal conversation.
Brain: You know telling me not to think of stuff doesn’t work, right? That whole “don’t think of an elephant” thing?
Me: I’m well aware of that, hence the problem.
Brain: But this will be filed away as a fantasy, and how often do you access that area of brain storage when he’s around? How often do you even see him
Me: That would be never and rarely.
Brain: Exactly. So can we stop analyzing this before –
*ALARM GOES OFF AGAIN*
Me: Damn. Sorry! (slaps snooze button)
Brain: As I was saying…stop fussing over details and enjoy it!
Me: Alright, I guess I’ll try. (grabs toy from nightstand)
And so, before the Evil Alarm Clock could strike again, this story reached a very happy ending. The lesson (which I have to keep teaching myself) is that there’s no harm in indulging in fantasies…even the weird ones. Let your brain go where it wants to in the moment, even if that leads down some unexpected or unusual paths.