When I first started exploring insertable toys, every option I saw was modeled, more or less, on a human penis. There were varying sizes and colors, but the basic shape was always the same. As I delved further, I discovered abstract shapes, toys that did their best to look like sleek, futuristic utensils rather than disembodied genitals. For a long time, I thought that pretty much all dildos fell into one of these categories. Despite owning only a dozen or so toys, I felt like I’d seen everything there was to see. I wanted to try new things… but the new things I found looked a lot like the things I already had.
My frustration with the lack of variety in toy shapes coincided with my search for toys to satisfy my appetite for girth. When my search for a thicker silicone dildo led me to Bad Dragon, I realized that I had clearly not seen all the sex toys that the internet has to offer. Here were sculpted cocks belonging to a wide array of fictional creatures… werewolf, cockatrice, dragons, aliens… alongside a dragon’s tongue and a tentacle for good measure. These were the first fantasy toys I laid eyes upon, and I was instantly fascinated. And almost as quickly, I was terrified. I was craving dildos that were modeled after monsters and anthropomorphic creatures. Had I crossed some sort of line? After spending an hour poring over the site, I fled, cleared my browser history and swore never to return.
My willpower being what it is, that solemn vow lasted all of two of days, after which I found myself staring at dragon dongs again. I was alternately cursing myself for wanting “weird things” and making a wish list. I didn’t buy anything on that trip. But I did join the BD forums, under the newly-created pseudonym of Lunabelle. I read other members’ reviews, chatted with a few people and suddenly, buying a fantasy dildo didn’t seem so scary. Lots of perfectly lovely people owned them, so why shouldn’t I? I started to consider a purchase in earnest. As a final test, I showed the Bad Dragon site to a very close friend to see what the response would be. There was no judgment, no shame, just suggestions on what I should buy first. That clinched it, and my first order was placed a short time later. When Cole finally arrived in magnificent cherry cordial colors, I was extremely satisfied with/by my purchase. There was nothing scary or bizarre about using a fantasy toy, only exciting new sensations from a shape unlike anything I’d ever felt before.
Once cured of my fantasy-phobia, I began to explore further…Exotic Erotics, Frisky Beast, Damn Average, and more. Pandora’s box had been opened, there was no going back. And as I acquired a collection of fantasy dildos in an assortment of wild shapes, I began to see reasons why more people should give these unusual toys a chance.
- You can find shapes, textures and curves that have never existed in a human-based toy. Whatever you want to try, there’s probably something out there for you. 1
- Many fantasy toys makers offer their toys in a range of sizes. No more “one size fits all” approach… get what is comfortable for you. I recommend measuring a couple of your favorite toys with a fabric measuring tape to get an idea of your preferred size range. Keep in mind that the definitions of small, medium and large vary widely between manufacturers and even between designs.
- You can customize firmness, from squishy to solid. Softer silicone will generally make a thicker toy easier to manage and mute extreme textures, but may make a thin toy floppy or unwieldy.2
- If you (like me) crave color, if you are desperate to escape the plethora of pinks, purples and flesh tones that most toys are made in, fantasy dildos can save you. Neon colors, glow in the dark, pearlescents and metallics, marvelous marbles… you can get it all in Fantasyland. Some of these toys aren’t just fun to use, they are works of art.
“But Lunabelle,” I can hear some of you saying, “what if my parent/kid/friend/neighbor/roommate/sibling or whomever finds out that I have this WEIRD DILDO? Will my partner(s) be completely freaked out?”
Your friends and neighbors shouldn’t be an issue, as long as you’re not pulling a load of freshly-cleaned dildos out of the dishwasher when they drop by to say hello. If this happens, toss them all back in, shut the dishwasher and act casual. 3. If you live with parents, kids, or roommates, find yourself a discreet storage container. Get something that locks if it makes you more comfortable. Fantasy toys that don’t look phallic (tentacles, for example) could be passed off as squishy stress relievers.
As for your partner(s)? Talk it about it. You can discuss fantasy toys during a general conversation about fantasies and such, if that makes it easier. Show a few pictures of the toys you like best, share what appeals to you about them. Maybe your partner will love the idea because they can see how much it turns you on. Maybe you’ll find that your partner is as intrigued by unusual toys as you are and wants to use them with you. Or maybe you’ll agree that those toys are reserved for your solo time. But a caring partner will understand, one way or another.
If you’ve been considering a trip down the rabbit hole to Dildo Wonderland, set your reservations aside and have a look around. You just might find something magical.
- I am happy to make recommendations/suggestions if you like, just contact me and I’ll do my best to help. ↩
- I do own a couple of stupidly floppy extra soft toys. They are fine for very mild thrusting, for grinding into their extreme squish, and for stress relief squeezing/helicoptering. They are also hilarity-inducing in a harness, though impossible to actually use that way ↩
- If you think I have experience with this, you would be right. Gold star and a cookie for you. ↩