Review: Primal Hardwere Neigh Sayer

When I heard that Primal Hardwere was adding three new dildos to its lineup, I couldn’t wait to try one out.  I’d had so much fun with Pedro the Cactus, I wanted to see how the new toys would stack up.  The Growler, Neigh Sayer and Pride are the solid cousins of Primal Hardwere’s wearable sheaths.  I had trouble deciding which one I wanted to review, so I asked Lone Wolf to surprise me with something fun and bright colored.  Let me tell you, I was not disappointed.

I knew that there would be a Neigh Sayer in the box when I opened it, but the color was a mystery.  Unwrapping revealed a copper, white and neon green masterpiece, truly a horse of a different color.  I squealed like a kid at Christmas and did the dildo dance of joy, waving and flailing it around my kitchen.1  It takes a special toy to provoke the kind of glee I experienced when I laid eyes on my Neigh Sayer.

Photo snapped between capering around like a goof and running upstairs to try it out.

The Neigh Sayer is a hefty hunk of silicone.  The flared head and medial ring have a diameter of 2.25 inches, with the rest of the shaft measuring 2 inches.  While this is certainly in girth lover’s territory, it’s not as imposing as Pedro (2.75 inch diameter).  The insertable length is 8.5 inches.  Mine is made in Primal Hardwere’s soft firmness.  It has a lot of give and flex to it, but at this thickness, it’s more than firm enough for easy use.

After admiring the color and design, it was time to put the Neigh Sayer through its paces.  While it has the exact same maximum diameter as the T-Rex, the Neigh Sayer feels smaller.  The difference comes from both the firmness and head shape.  The Neigh Sayer lacks the prominent, abrupt ridge found on the T-Rex.  The head is, however, blunt rather than rounded, which could make it challenging for those not used to thicker toys.

The heavy base acts as an anchor if you choose to take your Neigh Sayer for a ride.  When thrusting, those big, squishy balls are magnificent rubbing and squashing against my clit. 2  Since that revelation, I usually turn the Neigh Sayer upside down for thrusting use.

Neigh Balls

Shiny, squishy fun!

No matter the approach, the sensation of the Neigh Sayer’s ring sliding in and out of my vagina was pure perfection.  It’s not a pop with silicone this soft.  It’s more subtle, and enjoyable even (or in my opinion, especially) with short, rapid thrusts.  The textured edges of the flared head do a nice job “grabbing” my G-spot. 3  The softness of this dildo also feels pretty damn cool when squeezed by orgasmic vaginal muscles.  Squishgasms are a wonderful thing.

One ring to please them all...

One ring to please them all…

After the initial round of testing, I took to Twitter to proclaim my delight with the Neigh Sayer.  Just when I thought this toy couldn’t get any better, it was suggested that I check my new acquisition to see if it glowed in the dark.  I said I’d die of happiness if that were true, and Primal Hardwere responded:

Screenshot (23)

Yes, it’s true.  My Neigh Sayer glows in the dark.  It not only glows, it does so in two different colors.  I stood in my dark closet admiring its luminescence, snapping pictures and making occasional lightsaber noises.  And in the interest of bringing you a thorough review, I did additional testing later with my bedroom totally dark.  Watching the light appear and disappear was slightly distracting but also rather awesome.


If you’re looking for a girthy and gorgeous dildo to light up your life, gallop over to Primal Hardwere and grab yourself a Neigh Sayer today.  They’ve got a wide array of colors to choose from, and their dildos are available in your choice of three firmnesses.

The Neigh Sayer was provided to me free of charge in exchange for an honest review.





  1. For those who are concerned, I was the only person home at the time.  I did not traumatize my kids or husband.  The dog definitely gave me a weird look though.
  2. I’d like to thank my toy testing assistant for discovering that little trick
  3. Which continues to exist, despite recent pseudo-scientific claims to the contrary.
  • Property Of Potter
    October 16, 2014

    Oh that glow!!! WOW, this looks like a really amazing piece!! Definitely a company that’s only going to get bigger and stronger with time.

  • Madame Amrita
    October 16, 2014

    omg yes!!! i love the balls on these! i have all 3 wearables but now i want the balls lol! I ALSO HAVE pEDRO, STILL HAVEN’T MANAGED TO GET PAST THE MIDDLE SECTION YET THO! oops capslock

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