Review: Hole Punch Toys – Crotch Rocket

Are you a “discerning pervert” in search of “small batch, local, seasonal, cruelty free, organic, artisanal sex toys”?  If so, I know just the place for you.   I first heard of Hole Punch Toys from a tweet about their Plugs Bunny toy, a carrot-shaped silicone butt plug.  I’m not much into anal toys, but I admired their clever design and decided to see if they offered anything for my orifice of choice.

Perusing their website, I found an assortment of awesomely unconventional silicone sex toys with hilariously punny names.  There’s the Pussy Whip, a cat-handled flogger for those into impact play.  Mother Interior is a nun-shaped dildo (complete with rosary), and the Ass Cram Cone offers a whole new way to enjoy dessert.  The fine folks at Hole Punch live up to their motto: Taking sex less seriously since 2010.

It was the Crotch Rocket that really caught my fancy.  Big, bright, bumpy and chock full of glitter, it practically screamed my name.  It’s front-loaded, with a G-spot curve.  And aside from the fun of using it, I also imagined the joy of photographing it…

Crotch Rocket Landing

“We come in peace…”

Sorry, the pun temptation was just too strong to resist!  Anyway, the Crotch Rocket has a usable length of 8.5 inches, and a maximum diameter of about 2 inches.  The widest portion is near the top of the rocket, but the tapered nose cone should make it manageable for girth lovers (or those aspiring to be).

Hole Punch’s silicone is glossy and smooth, with a finish similar to Tantus’ shiny toys.  The Crotch Rocket gets good and slippery without using much lube.  There is a slight mold seam visible on the Crotch Rocket, but it’s not noticeable in use.  The fabulously sparkly cloud base makes it both anal-safe and harness friendly.  As with all silicone toys, it is easily cleaned with soap and water and can be sterilized by boiling.

Crotch Rocket Base

The Crotch Rocket is now available in two firmnesses.  Mine is the softer version, which I would recommend.  It’s still quite sturdy, though it leans a little bit because the toy is top-heavy.  Before making the soft option available, Hole Punch asked for my thoughts on the pros and cons of added give versus the potential for drooping.  I thought it was super cool to be asked for my input, and to see the new option show up on their website afterward.

Crotch Rocket Stand

My favorite part of the Crotch Rocket, the feature the differentiates it from any other toy I’ve tried is the bulging portholes.  There are three of them, evenly spaced, near the thickest part of the shaft.  They massage my vaginal walls as the nose cone goes for my G-spot.  The rounded shape of the windows and the softness of the silicone keep the sensation from being too rough.  The feeling is especially nice with a slight twisting motion.  The Crotch Rocket is a great thrusting toy, sleek yet textured, and the base is easy to grip.

The Crotch Rocket is a fun and unique dildo from a company that was an absolute pleasure to work with.  If Hole Punch Toys wasn’t on your radar before, I suggest you head on over and have a look around.

Hole Punch Toys provided the Crotch Rocket free of charge in exchange for my honest review.



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