A Masturbation Celebration

For anyone who might have missed the memo, May is National Masturbation Month.  It’s a time to reflect on and enjoy self-pleasure.  It’s a cause I support wholeheartedly, and (as evidenced by the existence of this blog) one in which I partake frequently.  Aside from the obvious reason, masturbation has always been a stress management and relaxation tool for me.  I remember the sense of panic I felt before heading off to college, worrying that a roommate would deprive me of my primary tool for insomnia relief.

Fortunately, between my roommate’s absences and honing of my stealth technique, I managed to get through college.  And grad school.  Including a pair of long-distance relationships.  When I got married, I wondered if things might change.  I had a partner with me, pretty much every day.  We could have sex any time.  But no, getting myself off remained a part of my routine.  It’s stress relief, it’s an outlet for fantasies.  It’s an orgasm when I want it, how I want it, and I realized there was no reason to give that up.  Solo pleasure and partnered pleasure are not mutually exclusive… though opportunities for both became scarcer when kids entered the picture.

As luck would have it, I found myself in the highly unusual situation of being home alone this weekend.  No husband, no kids… on the opening weekend of Masturbation Month  Opportunity was not merely knocking, it was beating down the door with a sledgehammer.  For forty-eight hours, I was at liberty to do (myself) as I pleased.

I wanted to capitalize on this chance to the fullest extent possible.  Specifically, I wanted to revel in not being confined to my bedroom and bathroom.  It was time for my sex toys to roam free!  So while there were toys on the bed…

sex toys on my bed

…they were also in the window…

Exotic Erotics Wraith dildo

Charging up the Wraith’s glow

…and in the kitchen.

I wish I could do this more often!

I wish I could do this more often!

And while I have no photographic evidence, they were also on my couch.  The chance to watch porn and have orgasms in the living room was too good to pass up.  I was, however, VERY careful to remove all DVD’s when finished, and check between the couch cushions for stray vibrators.

Screenshot (41)

Whichever part of the house I was in, I let myself be as loud as I wanted.  Heavy breathing, moaning, sighing, calling out a variety of names… even when I’m staying in a hotel, I can’t cut loose like that.  Not without risking eviction, anyway.

Saturday was such a beautiful day that I wanted to spend time outside.  I live far enough from civilization that no one can see what goes on in my backyard.  I grabbed a blanket, and my favorite lawn chair and settled in to enjoy the great outdoors…


…and a few of my favorite toys.


Yesterday morning was spent rounding up the free range sex toys and lube, triple checking that I removed the porn from the DVD player, and generally putting the house back in order.  I somehow almost missed my giant Tantus Amsterdam in the middle of the dining room table.  It did make a striking centerpiece though.  There’s a part of me that’s tempted to display it like that next time my very conservative in-laws are in town…

So now I’m back to being a sex toy ninja, keeping everything under wraps.  At least until the next time I have the house to myself anyway!  If you’ve got a suggestion for my next sex toy house party, please feel free to encourage my bad behavior in the comment section.

P.S. The featured image on this post is one of my own doodles.  I’m no great artist, but I’d be happy to share more of my silly doodles if people like them.


  • Onanymus
    June 1, 2015

    This is a very familiar sounding article, dear Lunabelle!
    I’m a male “ninja sexologist” 😉 myself and I’m living in Germany.

    I’m married to a beautiful and loving wife and have two kids. I can’t live without self pleasure and wouldn’t give it up for anything.
    When I’m alone I definitely celebrate Masturbation as you do. I use my toy collection, porn movies and erotic artwork preferring masturbation movies and pics. I also love masturbating in front of a mirror.

    Masturbation is a natural form of sexuality. It’s every human being’s first encounter with his/her sexual energy and – if not suppressed – can and should be developped in a beautiful way to embrace happiness and bliss.
    When I practice masturbation I like to see it as an art form, for an internal audience. I’m proud of it.

    Lily Tomlin said: “We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation.” It’s a shame that we hide, isn’t it?

    • Lunabelle
      June 1, 2015

      It is a shame, but my blog has given me the opportunity to meet so many others who enjoy their bodies! I’m happy you dropped by and hope you’ll visit again soon.

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