There’s no two ways about it, Hoss is a simply enormous dildo. Sure, the T-Rex has that thick head, the Amsterdam is long, and Mr. Universe has a slight advantage in girth, but Hoss is just all around massive. With a maximum girth of 2.75 inches and 11 inches of insertable length, Tantus isn’t kidding when they describe this as “an advanced toy”.
As someone who owns more than a few “advanced toys” I felt well prepared to take on the challenge of reviewing this behemoth. Hoss is similar in girth to my beloved Pedro the Cactus, and actually has a more tapered head. This dildo is made from Tantus’ super soft silicone, which has much more give and flexibility than their standard, firmer models.
A Few Words of Caution
If you are planning to tackle Hoss, some serious warmup is in order. This is not a dildo that you casually pull out for a quick session, playing with Hoss is a commitment. You work up to this kind of girth gradually, you don’t get a running start, jump at it and hope for the best. For tips on how to handle thicker sex toys (even if your goals are more modest), you can check out this post.
Also, my standard advice about having plenty of lube on hand for larger toy play goes double here. Tantus’ supersoft silicone may add flex and squish, but it’s less glossy and a lot more “grabby”.
Finally, if you are deeply concerned about the well-being of vaginas that can accommodate Hoss, please do have a look at this post. You can also see item #4 here. I assure you that no vaginas were harmed in the testing of this dildo.
Now On To the Review…
The trickiest part of using Hoss is dealing with the combination of length, girth and weight. Steering Hoss toward my vagina with lube-slick hands was a little like trying to land a large, very slippery silicone fish. I recommend having a towel or wipes handy so you can maintain your grip on the base/lower shaft.
Once that issue was resolved, I found that Hoss‘ head shape did make for easy insertion (relatively speaking) as expected. The silicone is soft enough to be comfortable, but firm enough not to flop or bend excessively. The tapered head and the gentle pop of the rounded coronal ridge feel somewhat similar to fisting, like a smaller size hand in the “duckbill” position. If you enjoy fisting, or if you want to get an idea of the sensation, Hoss might be right for you. The girth is magnificent, there aren’t many toys out there that can provide this kind of feeling of fullness. If you’re up for the challenge, that thick head leaves no spot unstimulated.
Now you may have noticed that I tagged Hoss as a sex toy for couples. This is not a mistake, I believe that pretty much any sex toy can be used with a partner. After I had tested Hoss on my own a few times, I showed it to my partner. He was duly impressed, and very interested in doing some testing together.1 Given the awkwardness of handling Hoss , I thought an extra pair of hands might work out well. I was not wrong.
After a very thorough warmup, I was bent over with my chest resting on the bed and my legs apart. My partner eased Hoss into me, checking in to make sure he wasn’t going too far or too fast. As we both got comfortable, he was able to get into a nice thrusting rhythm. Meanwhile, I could relax and enjoy being filled up with that thick, hefty hunk of silicone, with the added bonus of my partner’s touch and voice. Hoss is even better with a friend!
And One Silly Observation
As I was trying to find fun and creative ways to photograph this monstrous toy, I noticed a pile of doll clothes on the floor of my daughter’s room. As it turns out, Hoss fits beautifully into outfits made for a certain line of wildly popular and rather pricey dolls. To prove it, I present the majestic Pretty Pretty Princess Hoss.
So as you can see, Hoss is all kinds of fun. Solo, with a partner, and sometimes for a ridiculous photo opportunity. If you’re looking for a dildo that pushes the limits, Hoss is a solid choice. But if you’re not up to this challenge, don’t despair…Tantus has plenty of other shapes and sizes to choose from.
- I am fortunate to have a partner who is open minded and has a bit of a fetish for larger toy play. ↩