Update: Since the posting of this review, my opinion of Mr. Hankey has shifted dramatically. When called out for their exploitive “free toy” program, they attacked and insulted sex bloggers on social media. Their conduct directly contradicted their wish to be more inclusive, as expressed when I took on this review. To learn more, you can read this post.
It’s not exactly a secret that I’m into larger sex toys. I’ve written about working up to enjoying thicker toys, and I have an entire page devoted to the shops and dildocrafters who feed my addiction (addicktion?). So when I saw Miss Ruby tweeting about a new dildo of exceptional hugeness, I had to find out more.
Never held such a huge dildo. Realistic or not. And this is only a size medium. Oh dear.
— Miss Ruby (@MissRubyReviews) October 29, 2016
It turned out that the megadildo in question was a medium Lampwick from Mr. Hankey Toys. And happily, they were eager to work with a size-appreciative reviewer such as myself. Every toy currently on their site falls somewhere between “above average” and “gargantuan”. At the time of this review, Mr. Hankey’s website is primarily targeted toward cisgender gay men, though they are in the process of revamping the site to be more inclusive. They’re also interested in adding more vagina-friendly designs to their lineup.
Within a matter of days, my own medium Lampwick was on its way to my post office box. My Lampwick has a whopping 10.75 inches of insertable length, and a maximum circumference of 7.75 inches (or about 2.5 inches in diameter). It’s a little bit smaller than Hoss, but not much. The picture below compares Lampwick with Tantus Sam and Vixen’s Maverick, a pair of more conventionally sized girthy dildos.
If you’re not feeling quite that adventurous, the small Lampwick has a mere nine insertable inches with a two inch maximum diameter. Girthwise, that’s right between Sam and Maverick, and 1.7-2 inches longer.
I opted for the “75% erect” firmness, and I think that was the right choice. The silicone is firm enough to be inserted easily but has enough give to be comfortable. I can feel the veins and details in the sculpting, but they’re not overwhelming. It’s very much a Goldilocks firmness for me: not too soft, not too hard but just right. The finish on Lampwick‘s silicone is best described as satin..in between flat matte and full-on glossy. Again, it’s a nice balance.
As I’m sure you can guess, in use, Lampwick is a very filling toy. The thickest point is located closer to the tip than the base, just beyond the nicely pronounced coronal ridge. I much prefer dildos that are front-loaded rather than tapered and wider at the base for two reasons:
- With longer dildos like this, anything going on at the base has zero chance of being appreciated by my vagina.
- Tapered toys tend to feel like they’re trying to escape from my vagina, while a nice front-loaded toy that gets narrower toward the base sort of locks in and wants to stay. That can be a dramatic pop (see my review of the Fluke), or a much more subtle slip. Either way, I love the sensation when my body grabs hold of that girth.
So yes, I do love the way Lampwick fills me up. It’s a perfect slide from the head, over the coronal ridge, onto the thick, veiny shaft. The slight resistance on each outward thrust feels wonderful. The veins and texture on the shaft are noticeable but subtle. Lampwick definitely requires some significant warmup before use, but that’s always part of the deal with thicker toys.
Of course, as with any dildo of this magnitude, the Lampwick can be awkward to maneuver. The base is not easy to grasp, fortunately the extra length of the shaft served me well as a handle. It’s also possible to stand the Lampwick on its base and ride it, the base is heavy enough to stay put even without a toy mount or suction cup. This toy is harness compatible with a 2.5″ O-ring.
All in all, the Lampwick is an impressive toy in more than just sheer size. Its design suited my body well, and I really enjoyed the finish and firmness of the silicone. The price is also reasonable for the amount of silicone involved ($129). If you’re looking for a very girthy realistic dildo, Lampwick might be right up your alley. I’m excited at the thought of Mr. Hankey branching out into more vagina-friendly designs, perhaps shorter and with a more ergonomic base.