If you’re into sex toys that don’t look like sex toys, this review is for you. If your orifices are hungry for veggies, SelfDelve has a remarkable variety of realistic specimens to choose from. When I was given my choice of items to review, I considered the carrot, pondered the pepper and mulled over the mushroom. In the end, I elected the eggplant (Aubergine) because:
- It’s girthy
- It’s purple
- The eggplant is generally accepted as the emoji stand-in for dick.
The Aubergine arrived packaged in a shiny silver canister. Normally, I don’t get excited about packaging, but this is really cool. It’s a sturdy and relatively discreet method for storage, unlike the approximately four million black satin drawstring pouches I have from other toys (many emblazoned with their maker’s name and/or logo). On one business trip, I used the can to hold my eggplant, some lube packets and my Crave Duet Flex. It makes a pretty sweet travel kit!
One important thing to note about the Aubergine: Much like a real eggplant, it lacks a flared base and isn’t anal safe. Do NOT put the Aubergine in your butt, or anyone else’s. It tapers in such a way that it could very easily be sucked into your colon, requiring medical intervention to remove. You do not want to end up featured here.
At 8 inches long and 2.4 inches in maximum diameter, the Aubergine is pleasantly thick and girthy. Most of that width is at the tip, giving it that front-loaded shape I love. It’s ever so gently curved, and the silicone is super smooth and glossy. It’s firm enough not to be floppy, but still has a nice amount of squish to it.
You might think it would be weird to masturbate with a silicone eggplant, but having conquered a cactus, it didn’t really seem all that strange. In fact, the bulging tip, slight curve and just the right amount of squish add up to a very satisfying experience. The super slick silicone means I can thrust with abandon without needing lots of lube. And my G-spot was not the least bit concerned that it was being pummeled by a vegetable rather than a faux phallus. While I’m a rather inconsistent and unpredictable squirter, the Aubergine has been able to open the floodgates on multiple occasions. It’s not just a silly novelty toy, it’s a genuinely excellent dildo that’s now a staple in my travel bag.
If you want to partake of eggplant pleasures beyond parmesan, get over to SelfDelve and grab an Aubergine for yourself. Or if you prefer something slimmer, perhaps a banana or asparagus is more your speed. As for me, I’ve got a new reason to grin whenever I see that eggplant emoji!
I received the Aubergine free of charge from in exchange for my honest review.