Ninja Adventures: Tulip Toy Gallery

It can be challenging to balance my ordinary, day-to-day life with my sex blogger world.  But sometimes, in a happy coincidence, I’m able to capitalize on my business travel to meet up with other bloggers or explore sex-positive activities and venues.  Recently, I spent a few days in Chicago and found myself a short hop from Tulip Toy Gallery.  I’d seen photos of this Superhero Sex Shop, and wanted to see their stunning selection of silicone firsthand.

Having ditched my colleagues for the evening, I ordered up a Lyft to head over to Tulip.  I briefly considered entering an address a bit further down the block and walking over, but decided against it. The driver did seem a little surprised when his unassuming, middle-aged professional passenger happily hopped out of the car at a sex shop, but I didn’t let that bother me.  Visiting a sex shop is nothing to be ashamed of!

Tulip - Vamp Dildos

Once inside, I was greeted by a panoramic view of magnificent, colorful Vamp Silicone dildos.  Seriously, they were everywhere.  The store looks kind of like I imagine my house might if I didn’t have to keep my toys out of sight most of the time.  This is the beauty of a sex toy shop that shares a building with a sex toy manufacturer.

Tulip - More Vamp Dildos

One toy in particular caught my eye: a thick, multicolored, metallic Joplin with mesmerizing swirls of purple, copper and green.  I wandered over to get a closer look.  Ivey, who was working that night, told me this particular dildo had been admired by many, but was having trouble finding a home because its girth was too overwhelming for most people.

Tulip - Love at First Sight

That shiny one on the left…

It was clearly fated to be: the beautiful yet daunting dildo that had been waiting so long and the size queen sex blogger who can’t resist a pretty chunk of silicone.  Whatever else happened, I knew that Joplin was coming home with me.

I continued to chat with Ivey as I perused the lingerie, books, vibrators, butt plugs…and of course, more dildos.  We bonded over our enthusiasm for silicone toys, with me sharing photos of my collection and Ivey revealing a desire to learn dildocrafting at Vamp.  Being at Tulip felt homey and comfortable, I loved their atmosphere and unique décor touches.

Tulip - Karma Sign

Tulip - Lingerie


Tulip - Vamp Plugs


Tulip - Discount Dicks

In the end, I brought home three Vamp toys: the shiny Joplin, a finely swirled marble Elvis and a red glitter-tipped Tallulah from Discount Dickville.  I also snagged a tote bag emblazoned with the word “Masturbate”, because that’s just awesome.  I wanted to carry my purchases back into the hotel in that bag but with my luck, I’d run into a co-worker.  Instead, I slipped everything into my plain black backpack before summoning a return ride.

Tulip - My Joplin


Tulip - My Elvis


Tulip - My Tallulah


Tulip - Masturbate tote

If you’re in or near Chicago, I would definitely recommend taking a field trip to Tulip Toy Gallery.  They have a friendly, welcoming atmosphere and sex toys for every body.  They also understand the importance of body-safe materials, so you won’t find any smelly jelly or mystery substances here.

Tulip Toy Gallery is located at 3459 North Halstead Street, Chicago, IL 60657


1 Comment
  • x
    June 21, 2017

    I think your last dildo is a Barbarella, not a Talula.

Write a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *