Q: What’s with the “ninja” thing?
A: My ninja title was bestowed upon me by a dear friend, in reference to my gift for stealth. While I support openness about sex and related topics, my circumstances frequently require discretion. I don’t need my kids stumbling upon my sex toy collection, my mom finding out about my porn stash, my co-workers contemplating my masturbation habits. Much as I’d love to live in a world where I could proudly let my freak flag fly 24-7, that’s not my reality. I’ve managed to carve out a place in my life to enjoy my secret pleasures and learn more about things that excite me, and this blog is a place to share some of that. I’m hoping that I can inspire others to get comfortable with their desires and release their inner sex ninja.
Q: What are your favorite toys?
A: That has to be a multi-part answer. My favorite vibrators would be the Lelo Mona 2 and the Eroscillator. The Njoy Pure Wand, Lelo Ella and Key Comet Wand 2 are all great for G-spot stimulation. I love the Tantus Echo Handle as a thrusting dildo, and my Damn Average Longstang is also a fantastic thruster. I am a huge fan of large toys and the filled-up feeling they provide. Vixen Creations Maverick is thick with an incredibly life-like feel. My Bad Dragon toys, in addition to being wonderfully filling, are works of art. I have also found a special place in my heart for Pedro the Cactus.
Q: You like big toys? Won’t they destroy your vagina/ruin sex with a human penis?
A: No. I assure you that my vagina is still perfectly functional. Vaginas are magic. They stretch. They bounce back. It’s a beautiful thing. See the full Size Queen Manifesto here. If you’re curious about trying bigger toys, here are a few tips.
Q: Where do you store all those toys?
A: There’s a reason my toy list is titled “My Toolbox“. Much of my collection is stashed in a big, padlocked toolbox to keep the kids from stumbling on them. If you want the full rundown on my storage techniques, and other stealth sex toy tips, check out this post.
Q: Where do you get all those funky, unusual toys?
A: Fantasy toys can be found in many places. The first site most people hear about is Bad Dragon, but they are far from the only choice. Exotic-Erotics and Frisky Beast also have wide selections of fantasy toys that you can have made to your specifications. You should also check out my guide to sex toy shopping on Etsy if you’re looking for one of a kind dildo art.
Q: What, in your opinion, makes a toy great?
A: First and foremost, it must be made of body safe materials. I won’t even consider toys made of PVC, TPR or jelly. While some elastomer/TPE toys are phthalate free and allegedly body safe, I avoid these as well because they are porous and can’t be sterilized. Body safe, non-porous materials include:
- Platinum cure silicone
- Glass (borosilicate/Pyrex or soda lime)
- Stainless steel
- Wood (when sealed with a body-safe finish, like Nobessence products)
- ABS plastic
Beyond that, it’s tricky to nail down the formula for an awesome sex toy. Sometimes, a toy that looks perfect on paper just doesn’t work out. Sometimes a toy that looks like nothing special amazes me. While I can’t always predict which toys I’ll love, I do have some preferences that come into play when I am considering a purchase.
- For vibrators:
- Splashproof or waterproof – If I can’t clean a vibe easily with soap and water, I’m going to hate it.
- Power -It doesn’t have to rattle my fillings, but it’s got to have more than a weak buzz. Anything powered by watch batteries is not going to do it for me, and a single AAA battery toy claiming to be powerful gets serious side-eye.
- Convenience – I love my AC powered toys for their power, but the cords can be kind of a pain in the ass. In my eyes, rechargeable vibes offer the best balance of portability and power.
- Travel lock – I travel with toys a lot. If I can’t trust a toy remain off in my suitcase, that’s a problem.
- Vibration quality – I want lower frequency, rumbly, deep vibrations. If I can only feel the vibrations as a skin-level buzz, it’s not going to work out
- Control – Buttons should be easily identifiable by touch, as I generally can’t see them during use. They should require enough pressure that I’m not constantly and inadvertently changing the settings, but not so much that it’s distracting/impossible to switch.
- For dildos:
- Shape – Generally, I prefer dildos with a pronounced head.
- Texture – Bumps, bulges, ridges and nubs are my friends.
- Color – Not a big fan of flesh tones, particularly on very realistic dildos.
- Firmness – Anything goes. I love toys in everything from super-squashy silicone to stainless steel.
- Curve – In very firm toys, there needs to be at least some curve to hit my G-spot. More flexible toys can find their way even if they are basically straight.
Q: I don’t see any reviews for anal toys, where can I learn more about those?
A: Up to this point, I haven’t used anal toys enough to do helpful product reviews. I’m starting to experiment, but for the time being I am happy to refer you to other fine bloggers with more experienced rears. Pantophile Panic and Epiphora have reviewed a number of anal toys, and if you want a male perspective you should check out Mr. Will.
Q: I really enjoy your blog, what can I do to support it?
A: See those affiliate links over in the sidebar? Those companies pay me a small commission when my readers make a purchase through the link. This adds nothing to your cost. So if you want to buy some quality toys and make my day, head over to SheVibe, Good Vibrations, Tantus, The Stockroom or Lovehoney.
If you aren’t in the market for goodies, or are short on cash, don’t despair. You can still help by talking, tweeting and posting about what you read here. I’m still pretty new in the blogging world, and grateful for any and all signal boosts. All I ask is that you share via a link rather than reposting my content in full.